respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
