I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i will never coherently bang her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
