at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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