There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
