Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
