If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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