can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
