Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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