as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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