ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
