What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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