Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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