if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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