If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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