out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
bring money and cleavage
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
