HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize