didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i need an iv and a liver transplant
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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