what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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