I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
