found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
