i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
