it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
