My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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