It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
