You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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