didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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