he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
