so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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