well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Quick, to the slutcave!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize