Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
