girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
