Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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