WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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