Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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