sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
