the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
