i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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