the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
