So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
