just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
