I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
