Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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