I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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