Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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