mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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