Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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