I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
