Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
