First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's shark week go big or go home
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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