Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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