nutella sex= disaster
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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