The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm always down for nudity.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
