I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
