I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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