What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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