When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
