the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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