I bet he comes in French.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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