She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
