so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize